What The X ?

Oh yes, that Saturday night staple is back. No, not the take away and vino but the much more edifying X Factor, the nation’s favourite way to exercise those glutes through the sheer ratio of cringe to clench.

Led by Simon Cowell and his unfeasibly high-waisted trews, the gang of judges this year includes little leprechaun Louis Walsh fresh from his much publicised reconciliation with Simon, and the plethora of plastic surgery that is Sharon Osbourne and Danni Minogue.

Saturday 1st September was the third episode of the series – and the halfway point of the audition shows - with another round of excrutiating try-outs from hopefuls in Cardiff, Glasgow and Birmingham.

And this show proved that Mr Cowell is some sort of demi-god, such are the strong, irrational feelings he inspires.

Tatosho, 31, is so in awe of the tanned one that she travelled all the way from Japan just to have an audience with him.
Her song “ My Way’ didn’t get her a place in bootcamp, but she left satisfied with a kiss and “I think I’ll have to take you home with me,” from Cowell.
But poor  husband and wife group It’s About Time ( it wasn’t) were left blubbing when sar-cy Simon gave them their marching orders with “ carol singing… you could make some money from that “ and one member sniffed “ I used to think you were such a wonderful man. But you’re not.”

And therein lies the beauty of the show.

The pantomime scraps and sentimental show-downs all presided over by a villain that we know is no good,  but , secretly, who wouldn’t want a compliment from Cowell?

For this series, the production have really pushed the emotional back stories.
How the ickle children cheered when their teacher Beverley made it through!  How gorgeous, breathy Richard Wilkinson  ( sure to be in the final 10 ) hugged his  down-to-earth mum – in slow motion.
How new presenter Dermot O’Leary has a furrowed and concerned brow.

It’s enough to make you tune in next week.

The X Factor, Saturdays, ITV1, 7.50pm

Rating

• add to del.icio.us
• digg this article!